Me, a Leader?!

How I transformed from a shy girl into a Leader. Part 1 of 2: the foundational years.

Could I be a leader? Me? I considered myself a community organizer, an enthusiastic participant, a builder, a facilitator, a contingency planner… but a leader?!

At work, we have been sharing out our individual leadership journeys. I usually love presentations, but somehow this one was different. It was personal, it was messy, and I wasn’t even sure I was a leader. But I had a presentation to write, so I embarked on a personal journey through my memories to redefine myself as a Leader. It took me to good memories and bad, I re-experienced the exuberance of my successes and the burning shame of my missteps. It’s been a flood of emotions. And now I’m sharing it with you.

 I’ve split my journey into two phases: the first phase is about my experiences with leadership during my educational years; the second phase is about my professional journey with leadership. Turns out I’m getting old and have taken a windy path to get where I am today, so this is a rather long leadership journey. It’s my current interpretation, always subject to change and evolve. Thanks for your interest and open mind.

Part 1 – The Foundational Years

My leadership training began at a very young age and blossomed throughout my primary schooling. I have been so blessed with fabulous parents, teachers, and community leaders that have helped me to learn and grow. And special thanks to my Mom and Dad: you helped me to experience the world!

Sister Abel, my Suzuki violin teacher, was an influential coach whom I met at the young age of 5. She taught me how to play the violin (both a real violin and one made from a Kleenex box and paint stick) and to do it with utmost passion. I joined all the other Suzuki students in weekly group practice, standing to participate in songs whenever I knew any of the notes. Music was an important part of my life; I may have been shy, but I could always communicate through music. Violin, flute, French horn – 3 instruments, three first chairs. As I look back, I am in awe at my orchestra and band conductors who were able to successfully coordinate large groups to play (mostly) the right notes at the right time and to keep on playing to the end. That community of music will forever be a source of leadership inspiration.

I had the privilege of being part of many outstanding groups and organizations, each with its own unique take on leadership. These groups taught me different ways of being in a community, of working towards goals, of realizing success. Troop leaders, camp counselors, sports coaches, not-for-profit program organizers, teachers: everywhere I went, there were leaders showing how to work together for the greater good. My standout experiences were Space Camp, the French Voyager camp at Concordia Language Villages, my horse stable manager and coach, Deanna Landwehr, our community Meals on Wheels coordinator Jackie Zoellner, and all my public school teachers.

One of my more unique experiences in high school was a business co-op. While I originally had plans to focus on veterinary medicine, brain surgery, or astronomy, I decided the math and memorization weren’t aligned well to my skills. I floundered a bit to find my next passion, but when I joined my high school business co-op I knew I had path forward. I started an internship my senior year at Prince Corporation, a wholesale distributor and manufacturer, working in their marketing department. When I started, my hair color matched the company logo – royal blue. It was a hit at the tradeshows.

As college approached, I got scared. Scared of committing to one path, scared that I hadn’t experienced enough, scared that I was conforming instead of blazing my own trail. The summer before college, I ran away. I was 18. I tend to look back at this next phase of my life with some regret and embarrassment, but it was a critically important learning experience for me.

Living on my own taught me hard lessons, exposed me to a different way of life, and connected me to new types people. I am extremely grateful for this experience and have unending love for all those I met on the way. I am sorry, though, for the turmoil it put my family through. During my solo time, I learned what it’s like to rack up credit card debt and dodge bill collectors, to visit friends in jail, to fail at waitressing, financial planning, and business. I learned what it’s like to rely on strangers, to find community in unexpected places, and to appreciate life in the moment. After almost a year, I came to the realization I needed more help and education to live my best life.

That next fall I made it to college. My parents had deferred my enrollment when I up and left the previous fall; it was their support that helped me climb out of my emotional low and reorient into a growth mindset. I started school with some trepidation, but four years later I graduated from Washington University in St. Louis with a double major in Marketing and Entrepreneurship. WashU had a fabulous community of teachers, students, and community mentors. I stayed active with music as the hospitality lead for the campus concert venue. I helped found a new sorority on campus, although left the group a year and a half later – too many meetings for me.  I met inspiring local entrepreneurs and marketers through my study and extracurricular activities. The future was bright, the possibilities endless.

These foundational years were full of so many great experiences and people. My heart swells with love thinking about my teachers, mentors, leaders, and friends. I might not have had a lot of official leadership roles, but I was always an enthusiastic participant and keen observer.

Stay tuned for Part 2: The Professional Years.